That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
