Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
