You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
organizing the empties. That sober.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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