wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
