Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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