i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Randomize
