i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
