sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
