i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
