I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
