kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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