At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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