Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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