Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
