This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
