there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
