My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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