I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
