I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i think i just lost a toe
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
