he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am spending my child support on dildos
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
