It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
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Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
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It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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