why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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