so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize