no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
