i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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