One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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