Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
