Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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