I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
