I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
