Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
