I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
