Define "chronic" masturbator.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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