I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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