i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
