I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.