who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
