Porn is love you can see.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.