Non-Jews are for practice
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"