is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
