OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm just crazy horny about you
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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