If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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