Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
