You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
