She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
