his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
