You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
