Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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