sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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