it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
