So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
