So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's shark week go big or go home
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
