your thong is hanging out like whoa
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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