First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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