shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
