does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
