Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
