The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
