If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
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life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
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The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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