You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize