Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
