I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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