ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize