we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize