First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize