so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
