I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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