she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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