I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
