Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
