We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
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The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
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Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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