If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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