How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
