We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Houston, we have a squirter
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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